Science would tell me that all that is here can never be gone. All matter cannot be created nor destroyed. Yet science would also say that once your heart stops beating, you are no longer with me. How can I believe the latter if the former is true? It is the ultimate contradiction, the essential unknown.
I prefer to believe that you are as you have always been. Everywhere. When your heart still beat, I could hear your voice and feel your presence even when you weren’t around. I see you now as I saw you then. In a smiling face. A warm embrace. The shine in the sun. The sweet coolness of the breeze. The strength in a close friend’s loving ease.
All of my senses long to be fulfilled and validated with your unquestionable, physical presence. To hear your kind voice. To feel the comfort of your embrace. To smell your scent of smoke and sweat. To see the wrinkles around your mouth gather into that wise, approving smile. To taste a meal in your jovial, easy presence.
But I still see you in my sons blue eyes. I still hear you in every kind or patient word. I still feel you in the shelter of my home. To say that you’re no longer here is to say that none of us ever really were. To say that the mere stopping of a heartbeat could make a force so strong no longer exist, is to say that none of it existed in the first place.
So weep, if you must, when you have lost the physical presence of those which you love. Let your heart be relieved of it’s burden of sadness. Allow it to feel the pain that is the flip side of the joy. But know that all that was created can never be destroyed. The love and beauty you felt and beheld yesterday still live in your heart and all around you today. You only have to open your eyes to see it, open your mind to hear it, and open your heart to feel it.